Here’s the Scoop

It was late at night.
I should have known better to be up alone at that hour.
They were watching.
The timing was right.
I was vulnerable.
And they attacked.
I had been a victim of a crime* (*Fake news).
I had been a victim…of online targeted advertising.

It was Christmastime and I was struggling with gifts ideas for a few family members. I was minding my own business scrolling through Facebook when a simple ad popped up for a cooking utensil. “I like cooking!” I so naively thought to myself. So does my mother-in-law and I needed a few more gifts for her so I clicked on the ad and proceeded to enter my credit card information. I bought one utensil for her and one for myself because, hey, I would receive an “additional 10% off!” Double sucker. They saw me coming from a mile away…

Now, the real purpose of this utensil, is to safely scoop a few pieces of pasta out of boiling water so you can sample them to see if your pasta is done cooking.

But when it arrived, I quickly realized what I had really purchased…was a glorified cat litterbox scooper.

Perhaps all my years in animal welfare had warped my brain along with my combined years in marketing, and these two worlds collided and all I could think of was the person over in a factory with an overabundance of leftover cat litterbox scoopers…Holding it up. Squinting their eyes. Examining it closely. When suddenly, the light bulb goes off! Their eyes light up and they shout, “We could strain pasta with it!” That person quickly moving up the corporate ladder from being the Packager of Cat Litterbox Scoopers to the Head of Marketing for Pasta Strainers. Followed up by, “Quick, target that girl on her mobile device who likes cats and enjoys cooking!” Well done. Impressive. Brilliant, really.

All this to say, I still stuck a curly ribbon on it and presented this dual-purposed apparatus to my mother-in-law for Christmas while barely being able to keep a straight face. I mean, she has cats too…But, to date, I have only used my utensil once (in the kitchen in case you were wondering) and I imagine my Italian mother-in-law knows exactly when the pasta is done cooking without some wanna-be pasta/cat litterbox scooper to tell her.

Fast forward a few weeks later…

If our family mealtimes were on a dating profile, our relationship status would best be described as, “It’s complicated.” My husband and I are vegan/vegetarians, one daughter is diabetic, the other daughter can be labeled the “a picky eater,” and my dad will really eat just about anything, although the more carbs and butter, the better. I generally cook two – sometimes three – different meals each evening.

Feeling like I was in a recipe rut and scrolling along, an ad up popped for a home delivery meal prep service catering to all our diet needs: Plant-Powered, Keto & Paleo, and Balanced Living. Wow, more impressive, targeted marketing skills right there!

It was time to give it a shot and I hoped it would simplify and cater to a few of our needs, while giving me a chance to try some new flavors…So Green Chef, here I come!

I selected the Plant-Based option and when the meals arrived, I read through the instructions on how to make the first meal: “Zest a lime.” I examined the next recipe: “Ribbon your carrots.” Next recipe: “Add the currants.” Who has time for ‘zest and ribbons’ in the kitchen and WHAT is a currant??? Turns out these are just more clever kitchen marketing terminology, and in case you did not know, zest means grating with flare; ribbon means peeling with flare; and a currant looks and tastes like a spicy raisin with – you guessed it – more flare.

Back to cooking…The meals come packaged in individually labeled bags with all ingredients portioned out, some ingredients already chopped, some things whole, but overall, all meals took about 20-30 minutes to make. I have tried many new items I would not have tried before in my everyday cooking and have enjoyed their unique, mystery seasoning blends.

I do feel slightly overwhelmed when the box arrives because I realize I really have very few excuses left on the nights when I really just want to call for takeout; but, again, worth it on the nights I’m blankly staring into the pantry wondering what to make for dinner. Overall, the meals and directions are easy to follow along with and feel I will enjoy using this service when I find myself mindlessly scrolling through Pinterest recipes wondering what to cook and finding out I don’t have half the ingredients.

AND, as an extra bonus — zesting and ribboning are skills I have added to my resume and saying you ‘tossed the currants into the bowl,’ makes you sound so worldly and interesting! And let’s not forget to thank those marketers for their impressive hustle and capturing those who lay awake at night wondering what to get loved ones for Christmas or what to make for dinner.

Bon Appétit!

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If you’ve made it this far, first of all, THANK YOU FOR READING! Please share with your friends!

If you are interested in Green Chef, I have an email code for one free box that expires soon, so let me know and I’ll thrown your name into a hat and pick a friend! If you aren’t the lucky free box winner but still want to try it out, you can click HERE to use this link to receive $55 off your first box.