Everything to Everyone

This was my beautiful view as I worked from home this morning. While the rest of the US was getting served severe winter storms, we were getting a nice, healthy dose of Florida sunshine! After a few long weeks and holiday madness, I knew I deserved a work from home day (much to the delight of all my kitties and pup!) and decided to also take the afternoon off too. On a whim I reached out to some friends and asked about meeting up for lunch and before I knew it, we had a small group of some of my favorite people getting together. Then I came home and though I still ended up doing some more work, it was not pressured and felt nice just to be in my recliner chugging away.

A few days ago, I had a friend ask if I could call her on my way home from work because, and I quote directly from her text message, “Because you’re a rational person of reason who will understand.”

<Me??> I responded, looking around my empty office. Clearly, she had texted the wrong friend…right?

Turns out, that text was meant for me.

In brief, the conversation was a reflection of her time over the years and realizing the need to cut back and shift her focus. We both discussed how we run ourselves ragged helping others. People who may not ever do the same for us, and we are ok with that as that is not why we help others; but at the same time, sacrifice ourselves in the process. She needed a break from obligations that she had been a part of for so long.

We’ve all been there before. At a point where you had or have to take a step back and reassess the direction you’re headed. I have many people I care for; each with unique issues I usually have to deal with. But I’ve reached the point before. I reached the point where I had nothing more left to give, though I still did. The show still had to go on. I had stressed myself out to the max. As my brother reminded me in conversation one day, if I was on a crashing airplane, I would have to put my own air mask on first before I could save others. So, I cut out the things that I didn’t need to do, and focused on controlling what I could, and helping fix other situations when needed. I had to start putting time back into myself in a very intentional way.

As my friend and I hung up, I wondered, why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we made to feel bad for doing things in our own life? Are we really doing too little or are people really judging us on these things or do we just think they are, and we are the ones overanalyzing the situation? Who knows? But better yet, who cares? Sometimes you just have to move on and do what’s best for you. 

As we roll into a new year, my advice to friends out there is this:

• You don’t have to apologize.
• You don’t even have to explain yourself.
• You do not need to be everything to everyone.
• You should do more of whatever makes you smile and laugh.
• The show – as they say – will go on.

Today was a day that I allowed myself to do just that. I let others know I would be working from home and taking the afternoon off.

I didn’t explain.

I didn’t apologize.

I didn’t feel bad.

I had a great day, though it has gone by way too fast!

Turns out, I’m more rational than I thought…